The ride: Chimney Gulch, Golden, Colorado.
Temp: around 50 degrees.
Wind: howling with gusts at least 40 mph.
Start time: 5:07 PM. Finish: 7:03 PM.
Vertical climbed: 1,735 feet.
Total miles:7.05 miles.
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Thoughts, in no apparent order:
1. Dammit, it’s cold.
2. I can’t believe I forgot my socks and have to ride in argyle dress socks, not argyle bike socks.
3. I can’t believe bike clothing manufacturers make argyle biking socks.
4. Actually, argyle bike socks are pretty cool.
5. I’m actually singing a Taylor Swift song in time to my pedal strokes. My two daughters have got me hooked. (“I go back to December all the time….”)
6. I wonder if the garbage disposal is going to clog again any time soon.
7. I have a lot to do at work. Don’t think about work! Man, I have a long to do list. Stop thinking about work! (Repeat 147 times.)
8. I think there’s too much air in my tires. Funny. The English spell it tyres.
9. I need a quick release seat clamp. If only I knew how to measure the size of my, er, seat clamp.
10. Damn, it’s cold. And windy. I’m gonna blow off the trail and die!
11. I wish I could clear that long rock-step section. Someday. (Hope springs eternal doesn’t it?)
12. Man that’s a scary switchback. (Ride over it.) Man that was a scary switchback.
13. I can’t feel my toes in their thin wool argyle dress socks.
14. I’m glad I bought those new boxer shorts to sleep in. They’re really comfy.
15. I shouldn’t have spent money on that chicken burrito (black beans, medium salsa + corn salsa, cheese, no sour cream) at Q-Doba today. Ah what the hell. It’s payday! You deserve it, Mikey!
16. I wish I could sell my memoir/poetry book/novel idea/essay about trees/essay about going fishing with my grandfather.
17. Why the hell do we still have to be paying student loans? I hate hate hate student loans. (Pedal faster.)
18. Man, that’s a fun section of trail. I like how grippy the rocks are. I like that word. Grippy. Wonder if it’s in the OED.
19. I’m going to make this nasty switchback going up. I think I can, I think I can…. I can’t.
20. I wonder what I should have for dinner?
21. Chicken wings. Mmmm. Chicken wings. Now all I see in my mind’s eye is Homer Simpson. Mmmm. Donuts. Chicken wings and donuts. Mmmm.
22. Ride like freaking wind. No brakes–roll over it, dumbass! (No fear. No fear.)
23. Jesus, I’m cold. I can’t feel my fingers and toes. I can’t wait to get the car heat cranked. (Shiver, shiver.)
Rocky Mountain Biker 
Only a guy from Cheektowaga could write something like this. And yes, you are worth it, Mikey.
Wait a minute! You went to Q-Doba? I’m going out today, then.